Kyle asked for a drawing. He asked a while ago. He even had an empty frame to remind him that he asked for a drawing.
December brought me the happy combination of will, time and gift giving holiday. There may have been an echo coming from that empty frame too.
But what to paint? What to paint for Kyle? I only panicked a little bit while trying to answer this question.
Panic wants to know where the idea will come from? Will the idea come in time? Will I be able to create any part of the idea that appears in my head? Just the usual spiral of panic destined for doom and zero.
I left my anxiety at home in front of the blank canvas and went for a walk. Mercilessly I flung Kyle into the swirling stream of consciousness between my headphones. What returned to me several blocks later was a blue Kyle.
When Kyle was just a little boy we played a silly game describing what kinds of animals, trees and clouds we would like to be. The moment I remember best is when Kyle declared that he didn't want to be a 'thing' that was blue but the color blue.
A silly game combined with a silly photo of Cap'n Kyle and I had an idea that I loved. Doom averted!
While I spent more anxiety over the creation of the painting and still see many bits I would like to do better, setting the painting free to be Kyle's christmas gift was definitely worth letting go. Merry christmas, blue Kyle.